Billie Eilish, the seven-time Grammy Award-winning artist, shared a heartfelt reflection on her journey with gender identity during her appearance at Variety’s Power of Women 2023 event in Los Angeles. In a candid and emotional speech, Billie expressed her gratitude for being a woman but also revealed her deep-seated struggles with her sense of self and femininity.
“It’s really hard to be a woman out here, guys,” Billie began, visibly emotional. “I’ve never felt truly like a woman. And I’ve spent a lot of my life not feeling like I fit in to being a woman.” Her words resonated with many in the room, as she spoke about how her insecurities led her to a period of rejection toward typical feminine qualities. “For a couple of years, I became almost very ‘pick me’ about it,” she admitted, explaining that she distanced herself from certain behaviors that she felt made her different from other women. “I’d be like, ‘I’m not like other girls’ because I don’t do this and this.”
However, over time, Billie came to embrace her femininity and stop demeaning other women for the very qualities she once rejected. “I’ve grown to be very resentful of that period of time because I’m so much more interested in being like other girls. Because other girls are f–king tight, and I love women,” she added with a sense of newfound pride.
While it was a powerful moment of growth for Billie, she was also open about the struggles that remain. “I have a lot of internalized misogyny inside of me and I find it coming out in places I don’t want it to,” she shared. “But with full transparency, I feel very grateful to be a woman right now.”
In a separate interview with Variety just days before the event, Billie further elaborated on her complex relationship with her gender. “I’ve never felt desirable. I’ve never felt feminine,” she admitted. “I have to convince myself that I’m a pretty girl.” Despite identifying as “she/her,” Billie noted that she had never fully connected with traditional notions of what it means to be a girl. However, she clarified that she has a deep admiration for women. “I’m attracted to them as people. I’m attracted to them for real. I’m physically attracted to them, but I’m also so intimidated by them and their beauty and their presence,” Billie explained.
Billie’s openness about her internal struggles surrounding femininity and gender identity reflects the growing conversations about gender fluidity and the societal expectations placed on women. Her vulnerability and honesty in sharing her personal journey are a testament to her strength and resilience, inspiring others to embrace their own complexities without shame.
This candid exploration of self and gender identity comes at a time when Billie continues to grow as an artist and as an individual, using her platform to speak out about issues that matter deeply to her.